Bechamel Bobby's House of Taste

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"Everyday Tilapia," in the Publix Thunderdome

March 17, 2020

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"Shitty Chicken Salad," according to my wife

March 09, 2020

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"Shitty Chicken Salad," according to my wife

I am a tall man and my wife is a short woman. I am 6’8″, and she is 5’3″- and like most romantic partners with huge differences in size, we kind of have a fetish for each other. It works for us. But along with almost everything else in a world built by average-sized people, adapting ourselves to each other requires compromise. Usually, it's my lower back that foots the bill. Kissing/hugging/even listening to her requires a major slouch in my posture: I have to stoop down almost 1 1/2 feet to reach her face. “I’m thinking about buying stripper heels,” she told me today while we were making this tasty chicken salad. “Big platform ones. You could stand up straight. We could hold hands without you having to droop your shoulder.” While I pulled the chicken breasts out of the oven, she grabbed a foldable stepping stool from under the fridge. Standing on it, she was 6’3″ tall. “Like this!” she said, then looked around in a state of wonder, newfound power tingling behind her eyes. “Ha!

"Everyday Tilapia," in the Publix Thunderdome

We were in the Publix parking lot, the more tucked away Publix near the golf course, in swanky coastal Florida. It was 9AM and hard to find parking. Last night the virus news got panicky. Now, men in their seventies pushed stuffed shopping carts up to their luxury cars. "Going into the Thunderdome, honey," I said to my wife. "We're gonna wash our hands in the bathrooms when we're done, OK? If anybody touches you, spritz 'em with the mace." She didn't think it was that funny. The Publix was a sea of retirees and kids at vacation homes, inching their carts around each other through Produce in near silence. Tense, unsettling. I suddenly craved Parmesan. We had no solid plan for weeks of eating. Ours was a more Italian way of shopping- small bags of fresh stuff, every other day, rejoicing in endless trips to the grocery store. Rejoicing in this suddenly changed Publix. You could tell by what was missing and what was stocked that a

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